You never get a second chance to make a first impression

So if you know me or have heard anything about my love life, you'll know that I am using an online dating site to navigate the dating scene. I used to think that online dating was for ugly people, and while that statement may be at least 10% truth, it is also now my belief that it is for those who truly are just too busy to go hang out at a bar and pick up some random person expecting it to be love at first sight. Hello, have you not heard about beer goggles??? So yeah, I am a busy person now I know you're probably wondering how busy can a recent college graduate who got their first job right out of college in a few months be too busy to party it up. Simple. I've never been afforded the ability to not have to work hard for the things that I need/want. Plus no one wants to live off of their parents anyways, unless of course your a bum, or are affiliated with some type of royal lineage. Hey Prince Harry, I hear you're still available care to partake in some ebony ivory action. Hahaha totally joking. But seriously I do work a lot and when I'm not working I'm either going to the gym, or hanging out with my family because those things are most important to me. As I've gotten older I've come to realize that I haven't done a lot of dating but instead have been in semi-super serious monogamous relationships. Which means I've been super limited in meeting men. Now that I'm out of college I'm realizing that picking up some hot guy at a bar is not really a story I can tell at my wedding. Could you imagine the incredulous looks I'd get. Hey tell us the story of how you two met again. Well I was busting a move on the dance floor and hubby here was completely wasted and trying to grind with me...blah blah blah. Needless to say I needed a more respectable way to be "picked-up" and to "pick up" men friends. So I researched various websites from the ones you have to pay for to the completely free ones with no hidden costs or required credit card information.

The one I ultimately chose was called OkCupid.com

and surprisingly its kind of fun to fill out information about yourself, likes, dislikes, etc etc.
 One thing you have to be very leery about though is falsifying your information. For example your username is "HotnSexy69" first off I'm thinking that you are going to be incredibly good looking and that you clearly know your way in the realm of sexcapades as you've probably had your fair amount of it. However upon further review you are a complete nerd who plays WOW (World of Warcraft --for those who don't know the acronym) and you have about as much sexual experience as a nun. Get it, . . . NONE! Ok sorry I just had to make one joke. Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with you liking any of those things, in fact I'm sure some women enjoy playing WOW and they are saving themselves until marriage (<-- hey more power to you). In all honesty though, you are not being honest with yourself and with those of us trying to look for a potential partner. After all honesty is the best policy!

Back to me again... So, I wrote up an about me section careful to list both my pluses and minuses. Things that I'm looking for. Put up recent photos because I hate misleading photos that show you thinner, our with way more makeup on and airbrushed photos that look nothing like you. In fact I try to update my pictures at least every 3 months or at least date the photos I have on my profile so you can tell its me. I also hate photos that shows off just a body and not a face...I mean c'mon have you hear the term "butta-face." Everything was cute "but his/her face." In any case just flaunt what you got and don't try to make up for the fact that you lack something because someone will inevitably fall in love with just you! I've had a bit of success in teh online dating realm. I get alot of messages and whatnot from guys asking why I'm single and other getting to know you questions. I've also like a fair share of the guys I've spoken to online. However, I enjoy meeting face to face with these guys because a) its always differents talking to someone in person then on a social networking site, b) I want to know if you look just like your pictures c) I need to know if we have anything in common before I commit to going on a couple more dates with you. I am picky I know that but you just cant be choosing any and anybody these days. I've met some really intersting guys online, from male strippers who have actually video chatted and performed a somewhat routine for me, to male stalkers, to just down to earth guys that really would just melt your heart right there and then. This is the tricky part though. How are you supposed to know which one to go for??

Well, I recently was contacted by this guy who is really cute, has a job, a car, own place and absolutely adores his mom. Yay me is what I'm thinking. We make plans to hang out over the weekend. The day comes and I'm anticipating a phone call about a meeting place. I wait and wait and wait. To no avail I hear nothing back. Now I'm usually not the type to be all up in someone I've never met business, so I shoot a quick text saying. Hey  I'm not sure what happened but maybe I got my dates mixed up and we were supposed to meet at another time. So I'm shifting the blame from him to me, at the same time I'm guilt tripping him into knowing he is standing me up. Now I'm super pissed but I let it go, plenty of fish in the sea ya know. I get an email back from the dating site from him 2 days later saying he lost his phone and had no other way to contact me and that he's sorry.

Um yeah right. "Lost your phone" is like code for I don't want your number so I lost it. Or I was at this raging party and I saw your text but was hanging out with someone better. Ok so I'm giving him the benefit of doubt that maybe he did really lose his phone and that he really couldn't get a hold of me. Alright right now he's on strike 1. I email back saying hope we can rain-check in the future and he responds instantaneously with a meeting time and spot. Perfection! I like a guy who can make decisions and plans just like that.

So I'm whittling the hours away at work because I'm really excited to meet this guy. Here's a little  run down of who he is:
Male
African American
23
Studying Criminal Justice
Has his own place and lives by himself
Car that is in great shape
Works a decent job
Has really nice teeth
Taller than 5'6
Educated

Ok I'll stop at that for now but truly he is a great guy on paper that is. So I'm really anxious to meet up with him, and around noon I send him a text. "Hey just confirming that we will be seeing each other at 5pm, you pick the place and I'll be there!" He responds with, "Yep, can't wait!" Positive response  right...well thats what I was thinking too until around 430pm when I still hadn't heard from him about a meeting place. Ok we're supposed to meet at 5 pm so I'm cutting him some slack. Whatever you do don't text him I think. Just give him enough rope to hang himself. Now I'm really good at gigving people the benefit of the doubt and chance after chance but here I am still sitting at work waiting for a text or phone call from him. All of a sudden my alter ego pops up into my head and says "Well, fuck that!, I'm not waiting on him, plenty of other guys in the sea." So of course I leave work in a pissy mood because this guy has royally screwed up ....STRIKE TWO in my opinion. I get into my car with all intensive purposes of leaving for home when I get a phone call. I look at my phone and what do you know....its him. So I stare at it awhile thinking, should I pick it up, or should I just tell him to suck it. Well lets just say my rational side came in to play. I answer the phone sweetly and calmly say, "Hey, whats up?" I can tell something is up but I chat with him a bit, he asks if we are still going to hang out and then gives me the address. The entire, and I do mean ENTIRE drive towards the meeting place, I'm silently chewing him out and giving him a piece of my mind. Like who does he think he is that he can just set up a time to meet and then be late and have me running late. So I get there, his back is facing me but I know from his pictures that its him. I hang back and check out my surroundings, surveying where all the exits are. Alright its time to go to work....I walk over to him and he stands up offering a hug instead of the weird handshake you may get upon meeting someone from the first time.



Now I won't get into the nitty gritty of our date because that was between us, but what I will say is that I'm glad I didn't write him off. All the while this guy was just really nervous about meeting a girl online. It was kind of sweet and endearing. He was so flustered.

I was astounded by the fact that I made him so nervous. HOMERUN in my opinion, or maybe we should switch sports and say the date was a SLAM DUNK! Needless to say we have been on 3 dates in total and I'm really digging him.

So while you may never get a second chance for a first impression, don't immediately write someone off based on the impression you think they are giving you...because you'll be astonished at the sincerity of their actions.

Pat me down

So this past weekend I took a mini vacation to a far far away place called the East Coast. I'd been dreaming for these couple of days, filled with great friends, past loves and booze. The most important thing being a couple of days with no worries, no work, and days where drinking is a sport, where the key to winning or as we alumni from Trinity College call it "Trinning" is not blacking out, or getting your stomach pumped, or dying. Its sad really what college does to those of us. Innocence lost, harumph. Anywho so I'm in the MSP Airport, check in for my flight, then wait in a long ass line at the security checkpoint. So I get up there unzip my suitcase take out my two ziploc bags filled with dangerous liquid like um i dunno, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, and maybe some hand sanitizer. Remove my shoes, wearing absolutely no socks. So now my feet are on the bare tile and cold. Then I have to lug my big ass purse and carry-on on top of the conveyor belt. Take out my laptop out of its case and watch as all of my things are scanned and looked over by somewhere who is not my mother. Now wait one freaking second I'm not gonna complain about not being a terrorist and blah blah blah but really I mean what if I had something real weird like i dunno a vibrator. You know some smart ass TSA agent is either going to crack a joke or smirk oh wait did that really happen already to someone else.

(Click on link below if you want a real good laugh)

TSA Transportation Security Administration Worker Who Left 'Get Your Freak On' Note In Blogger Jill Filipovic's Luggage With Vibrator To Be Fired « CBS New York

 Alright so you have to scan my shit while making me take off my sweatshirt so you can ogle my 36Bs and then have me walk on this bare floor and when I set the alarm off you want to pat me down. This is outrageous and I will curse your ass out so prepare. So now I'm pissed off and you are patting me down....I want a woman to pat me down get your nasty man hands away from me.

TSA wanna pat me down
Shoulders, Chests, Pants, Shoes (x2)
They be getting in my way
When I'm tryna board a plane
TSA wanna pat me down ©

Now don't ever say I didn't rap for ya'll ok. Those lyrics are blackkatemoss ™ copyrighted don't steal them because I'm broke and I might just have to sue you.

OK back to point so now you've gotten to 2nd base with me and you didnt even offer to buy me drinks or take me out for dinner. Pshhh! How rude! (Rudy Huxtable voice....please google and watch a youtube video if you have no idea who that is).  Alright back on track so if you thought this is not annoying then you clearly have not been through New Yorks JFK int'l airport. So picture the same above scene except without them asking to remove your sweatshirt. You remove all requested items follow all the rules then you precede to walk through the metal detectors ....Oh hold up the security officer puts up his/her hand and tells you to go back. So yeah I did just that, now I hear "turn sideways and put your feet in the boxes"....um what boxes, shit there are boxes that are on the ground for me to put my feet in. "Ok, now raise your arms up", ok yeah I did that, "No, higher, higher, all the way above your head."

 Alright stop! Now I've never been arrested but I've watched enough movies to know when a black person is about to be arrested (please don't be offended for me I crack these jokes all the time). Now they can't really be serious can they .... (here's a very real picture of the methods they employ).

You done lost your mind....I'm all for national security but the madness has got to stop. How about you just put me in a glass cage filled with money blowing all around so I can dance for you erotically. After all I did take a pole aerobics class.

Pick your shit up

I'm not sure if I you think I've been blunt with my blogging but I think this post will be very blunt and direct.  Again let me preface this with a disclaimer.  None of the things that I right about are direct examples from my day to day life. I only give credit when I believe credit is due. So if I name you*, just be happy you got a mention and if you don't shrug it off. Not everyone is meant for celebrity status.

 *All names dropped in my blog and photos used are used with permission from their respective parties.)


Alright now that we got that out of the way lets start this off with 2 direct quotes from my mother (Mama Wubben),

"The most important places in your home that should be clean is your bathroom and the kitchen."

The second one is:

"The reason that I know where everything is in my house is because I put things back right after I use them, in the place that I got it from."  

So now you are probably wondering what those things have in common with the blog ...well hello the title says it alone. Clean up after yourself is a more polite way of saying what I really mean.

This refers to everyone but more importantly this blog stems from my wait for it, wait for it . . .  my job. Yes remember when I said that I'm a rehab bitch? Well some of my job also includes picking up things when people leave them out. Now under normal circumstances when someone leaves something out I'm happy to oblige them by picking it up. But then you have those people, yes those people, you know who I'm talking about. They take everything and the kitchen sink out, play with 1 item and then a) leave it all out taking up the room for who knows how long or b) place a sign on it that says it is all dirty and must be cleaned. Now c'mon people, c'mon! I don't mean to bitch and complain but seriously its like you're intentionally doing this. I understand that giving a kid some options can be very valuable and persuasive in getting them to do what you want them to do.

But no one in their right mind wants to pick up all of that shit after you've used only one item. While you are showing them ADLs teach them that after you use something you have to put things back.

My favorite thing is also when a therapist comes to ask me where such and such object is....like oh i dunno maybe in the closet where its supposed to be. Oh wait you mean you're the last person to have used that particular item and forgot to put it away and now can't find it. That's awesome!

I hope you can discern (oops sorry Kaitlin thats a big word huh?) my sarcasm, because this blog is going to be full of it.


Now don't get me wrong there are some therapists that own up when they leave a mess. They leave a note, or clean it up themselves

...or even better they come up to you (cough cough Jackie) and tell you how sorry they are that they are leaving a mess and will come back to clean it. Or they give you a pumpkin latte (hint hint OT therapists) for cleaning it all up.

But seriously pick your shit up please.

Because we are tired of doing it for you and even though its our jobs you are being a pain in the ass by being completely and utterly lazy.

Ok so now that I got that off my chest lets go to the second topic. Please put things back where you got them from. I absolutely despise, well not really despise but a real strong aversion when someone comes up to me and asks me where such and such thing is. Literally I'm like why even bother labeling things when they never get put back in the right spot. Or that they, god forbid, actually put something back but not where they got it from. Yea thanks guys I'm so happy to help you look for something that you conveniently placed somewhere else.

 Now I do understand that things get misplaced, but when it happens all the time its like do you even care about the people that you are working with. I know I'm no saint and I realize that we are all human but it just sucks sometimes when people take advantage of a good situation because they can. So let's all just do the right thing, and help us help you by occasionally picking your shit up. Oh and a thank you once in awhile wouldn't hurt either.