the 3 month plan

So I have this dating rule that I've used since beginning my serious dating career. I call it "Kelly's 3 month rule." This isn't really a rule more like a plan I put in place to navigate the good guys  from the bad guys in this crazy dating world. This plan consists of rules like...:

 1) No physical contact - no kissing, holding hands, no hoohaa here ...I'm as prude as they come within the first couple of months. You will get a hug at the end of each date though. Teeheehee! But don't try to go in for the kiss because I will dead you (embarrass you that is).

2) I will not  be enjoying your company or you enjoying mine at you place of residence. I don't like to place myself in situations where you can kill me and put me in your freezer, nuh uh I watch ID (Investigation Discovery) at work, I know how that story ends up. 

3) No labeling the relationship until at least after the 3 months that we've known each other. I'm casually dating every Tom, Dick and Harry. So, No!, we are not exclusive until I feel you're not a stalker.

4) I will not let you pick up each and every bill...you may feel I owe you something and I don't do well with owing people things...I will no put out just because you took me to Applebee's. At least take me to someplace that I can't even say the name or something.

5) You don't get to meet my family until I say so. So no unannounced visits to my crib....I live in the hood, and people get shot for that type of stuff. Or in my family we use the machete and chop you into little pieces and feed you to my cat. (Just kidding.....kinda!)

I'm sure there are more rules but these are the ones that I can readily recall.  By now you are probably thinking  I would never want to date this girl she sounds way to obsessed with perfection and details. Let me first say that while I may have all of these rules they are only known to me so I don't go scaring off any potential suitors.  In the event that a guy asks me to come back to his place or meet my family I always make up an excuse as to why I can't. And believe me my excuses are bomb.com...I never really lie I just pick and choose the bits that I think fit together and run with it.

The real reason I have this plan is because its scary dating in the real world. In high school I was the serial monogamist while still having the ability to play the field girl. I always had a back up guy that I was friendly with just in case my boyfriend acted a fool, or thought I wouldn't find someone to replace him. I'm not as brutal as I'm making myself sound though.  I just was really popular with the boys if you could imagine that. I love sports, and partying. I'm a guy's girl at heart, plus I can throw down in the kitchen when it really comes down to it. So guys usually get the best of both worlds with me. For some reason though things always don't work maybe he's getting lazy and living off of me. Or maybe he found another girl who's giving him some on the side whatever the case may be I leave, or he leaves and I find myself back to square one. In college it was so nice because I could go out at night to a frat party with something tight and short and it was like sexy time for me. Now that I'm in the real world however it as if God is playing some sick joke with my love life. Find one guy who may be awesome and then I find out he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend. Find another guy who is awesome but he's not interested in anything but having casual sex and I am certainly not about lifestyle.

So remember that guy that I wrote about in my last november post about giving him a second chance to making a good impression?

So after we went out on our date I thought ok this guy is definitely a keeper. Educated, no kids, big family and good conversation. In my book he was a #winner.

 We went on a couple more dates and got along great. I mean I wasn't planning our children's names or anything crazy like that but I was thinking that he was the frontrunner in the race for my affections. Well shit hit the fan so to speak when he asked me to go out on a date ....we decided something fun like bowling. So we make plans without being too specific (which is very hard for me but I'm learning to try and go with the flow). It's Friday I'm wearing something cute and I casually hit dude up and say hey what time are we meeting at. I get no response from him. Which is normal, I know, I know. Not everyone is like me and eat, sleeps, and poops with cell phone in hand. Two hours later he sends a text that says, "I'm sorry I can't do this." Jokingly I replied, "Wait are you breaking up with me, I didn't even know we were dating." I didn't get a response back so within 10 minutes, I texted back asking if everything was ok. Still no response. so right now I'm feeling the KateMoss swagg

 ...and I'm like well fuck him, I'm not gonna sit around waiting around for dude. He's rude and I'm not about to play that game where you don't call and I have to call you. I've never been on that doormat flow. So I'm getting ready to leave work when all of a sudden I get a phone call, its him. I answer and he sounds different, almost as if he is under scrutiny. I stay calm and cool and speak plainly. He's like yeah its over, and I'm like ok. He's all, you don't want to know why and I'm like well you called me so I'm going to let you tell your story. Come to find out this asshole has had a girlfriend and just recently came clean to her that he is on a dating website. What a colossal jerk, right. I tell him to tell his girlfriend no disrespect and then I promptly hang up the phone and delete him from my contacts. I despise liars and people I can't trust it always makes for bad outcomes. This is why the 3-month plan is in place so that the good guys make it to the front of the line and the bad guys stumble over themselves and end up in hell. Amen. Hallelujah. Peace OUT!

update: Guy now has broken up with said girlfriend and has been blowing up my phone. How many people think he deserves a chance and how many people think I should tell him to kick rocks. Write your answer in the comment section.

Thanks!